What is wrong with me!?!?

I have been so filled with anxiety lately. Every time I open my mouth I feel anxious when I'm done speaking. I'm sitting on my couch feeling anxious over a conversation I had with dd's preschool teacher. I don't recall saying anything wrong but my anxiety tells me I did. It didn't help that she was telling me my child shouldn't go to K in the fall. Maybe not, but for pete sake's it's January - we've got until Sept to be ready. Why does she have to know all of her numbers and letters and everything right now - she's FOUR for crying out loud! With ds I taught him all those things early, with dd I decided she was going to get to be a KID - seems everyone else thinks that was not a good decision. *sigh*

It seems every time I go someplace I come home and am just anxious and tense and jumpy in my skin. I don't like it. I feel "odd" a lot of the time. Something is "off" but I don't know what. I feel like my doc thinks I'm a hypo even though I rarely go, so I'm afraid to call and tell them something is wrong - that and I always fear they'll tell me NOTHING is wrong when I know it is and that means they have no solution and no way to fix it and I'm stuck feeling this way. *sigh*

I'm going to a women's solitude conference and I'm hoping the Lord will fix me while I'm there. If something doesn't change while I'm gone then I'm going to have to look into getting help eventually I guess. I don't want to live the next 50 years feeling disconnected from everything and everyone around me.

I suppose this is my payback for thinking those people who had anxiety were being ridiculous and just needed to suck it up and get over it. I see now that it's easier said than done - especially since mine seems mild right now and I can't imagine having this feeling worse than I already do.

*sigh*