Horrible Job

That would be me - doing a horrible job. I am struggling so much with my job right now. Spiritually I just can't seem to get in the right place to do this job properly. I'm really struggling with what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. I feel like everyone is mad at me or frustrated with me but nobody is saying so.

I'm doing a horrible job as the AWANA commander. I wish I would have just said "we're not doing it this year." Nobody is happy. Even the kids don't seem happy to be there. What's the point?

I don't feel comfortable in Sunday School. I feel ok during the worship hour but I've barely been able to be in there. I'm tired. I don't know if I'm cut out for this right now. It's only been a year. I've even thought of quitting. Which just makes me so sad. I had such high hopes and dreams for the department and I feel like none of them are coming close to being fulfilled. If I felt like I could get in a spiritual place I might actually be able to pray about what to do.

In 12 days I'm leaving to visit my sister. I'm hoping some time away will give me a new perspective. It's not fair to all of those kids, parents, or volunteers to be stuck with me right now. I feel horrible that I'm failing but I don't know how to make it better.