Vegas or Bust (it's looking like Bust :-( )

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excuse me, I needed to scream. My sister, who was suppose to watch the kids while we were in Vegas (leaving in less than 48 hours!), called to say she can't watch the kids now. She can't get it off of work. Nevermind that she said she'd ask for it off when she took the job and never did.

I'm ready to write an email to all my stupid family to tell them thanks for nothing - thanks for never being willing, thanks for never being able, thanks for making me feel like a heel for ever asking, thanks for making me afraid to ask because I've been rejected so often and I'm tired of the pain of rejection, thanks for not caring if my dh and I ever get to spend quality time together, thanks for offering to support this marriage 15 years ago when you came to the wedding ceremony and then never bothering to do it, thanks for never inquiring about your grandkids or how they're doing, thanks for not caring if you don't see your grandkids for months at a time, thanks for all of it!!

How come other people can drop their kids off with people at the drop of a hat but it takes a freaking act of God to get my kids watched for a couple of hours and forget ever getting them watched for long enough to spend any quality time together whatsoever.

I miss my husband. I don't want to take the kids with us. I want to spend time with HIM. I want somebody to want my kids besides me. I want somebody to want them to come over and will be happy to have them. I want somebody to care that dh and I never get to go out because nobody is willing to take them without it being a big freaking ordeal.

Anybody out there want to adopt me? Or want to adopt my kids as their grandkids? Anybody?

2 days until probably no Vegas. 12 days to hopefully New York. Maybe school will start in 29 days. I'm not holding my breath that anything I was looking forward to will happen ever again!