Disappointment

When will I learn? How many times must I ask before I learn to quit asking? Every time I say I'm done, I go back again, like a puppy, waiting for a scrap from his master. I think this time I'm really done. Always excuses, always others more important, never time for what really matters. One day time will have ran away and all will have been lost.

May I not be the same kind of disappointment.

Only 14 more days of school. YEA!

Surprised

Do you ever have something happen that just totally surprises you and makes you question your judgement of a person? This happened to me recently. I was at a graduation for one of my siblings a couple of weeks ago and my Dad for some reason brought up my 8th grade graduation. Not even sure how it came about - I think he asked jokingly if my ds was graduating from 8th grade yet. Then he proceeded to tell me about my 8th grade graduation in great detail - things I'm sure my Mom doesn't remember about the event. Things I never would have thought my Dad even noticed. Who is this man who for the most of my life seemed totally disinterested in anything I did (at least from my view point)? A man who can recall emotions and feelings about a day long past, a day that is hard for me to even recall clearly. It really made me think about how I view/viewed him. I am still quite surprised about it.

On other topics . . .
Open House was last night. The kids had a great time. Both are looking forward to moving up a grade after visiting the next level classroom. Hopefully they'll both get the teachers of the classrooms we visited.

It's a holiday weekend. I'm excited that we don't have any major plans - we are planning on just hanging out and dining with friends one day and family on another. It's been a long time since we had a lazy weekend! Tomorrow I can even sleep in!!!!

14 more days of school!! 3 1/2 hours until my date with my hubby!

Ramblings . . .

16 more days of school. YEA YEA YEA!!! Not 100% sure the boy child is going to pass but I think we at least don't have any D's right now. I should probably check with the teacher this week. Girl child is doing fine and happy to be going to first grade soon. Open house is this week. Just something else to do since I've seen the classrooms already. The last band performance for ds too - that should be fun.

Children's camp is just around the corner - I'm paralyzed with an inability to figure out what to do for a boys counselor. Either my dh agrees to go and I figure out what to do with dd, or my dh doesn't agree to go and I still figure out what to do with her during the day plus figure out who should go in his place. I also need a new Sunday School teacher and am paralyzed with the inability to figure that out too! Not to mention VBS - not enough workers for sure and again am paralyzed with the inability to figure out what to do about it. I feel like a total idiot - why can't I figure out how to make these programs work? I have great ideas but no way of implementing them or not enough support to do so. I guess I just have to go start asking people - part of my problem is wanting to be choosy about the people I ask. Maybe beggar's can't be choosy but that's just a SAD way to run a children's ministry!!

Offered my Sunday School teachers the chance at a conference - they all "hemmed and hawed" about it. Whatever. They complained about not getting to go to one before and now they complain about getting to go to one. Annoying.

Baseball is almost over. Playoffs have started so we shouldn't have more than 2 or 3 games left. Softball thankfully is over so that's one less thing to worry about.

The church started a 10 great dates program - only have had one date so far but it was fun and I'm really looking forward to the next 9. Of course I'm going to have to pay a babysitter an arm and a leg to watch the kids, but it's totally worth it to get into the habit of having a once a week date. It's just irritating to have so much family around and not be able to count on any of them. I hope I remember this feeling for when my grandkids are born. I plan on offering to babysit quite regularly!! Hopefully my kids still like me enough to allow me to do so!!

What else was I going to ramble about? Who knows, it's escaped my mind.

Have a great Wednesday!

Today = Tired

DD and I had to get up early to be at school an hour and a half earlier than usual for her field trip. I didn't go to sleep until way too late last night - all of that ='s one tired Mama today!! *yawn*

The field trip was fun - we went to a little free aquarium. The bummer was that the kids hardly got to be in the "learning center" at all. I think we spent as much time on the bus going there as we did at the actualy place - including eating lunch and playing for a little while. Oh well, the kids still had fun.

Some good news for today - only 27 more days of school!!!!!!! Wooooooohooooooo!

Sad. :-(

That's how I feel today. I went to pick up ds from school and the teacher showed me his progress report. All D's and F's. I'm so sad. This kid is literally probably the smartest in the entire 4th grade - at least as far as the boys are concerned. Why is he failing? Why isn't she telling me until a month after he doesn't turn assignments in? Why are they so bent on "proving" they were right, rather than doing what's best for my son?

Then I realized I don't have anybody to call and tell my feelings too. I don't have anybody who will just say "it's ok" or "I'm sorry" or "Can I pray for you." Well, my dh did say "it'll be ok" but he's male and he has to say that. I don't have one single GIRL friend I would call and cry to who would not give me what THEY would do if it were THEIR kid. Well, he's my kid and you don't know what it's like to live with him or the challenge it is to be his parent.

Then I thought I had camp counselors mostly worked out for children's camp only to be told the male counselor I had in mind most likely won't be able to do it, because he has a prior commitment. So now I'm back to square one and I still don't know if I should go or not.

I guess it's just a sad kind of day. :-(