FDA - Grrrrrrrrrr!!

Because the FDA approved Claritin to be safe as an OTC drug it is almost impossible to get a prescription for anything else. For us poor souls who need something that actually WORKS, we have to fight tooth and nail to get our insuarnce to approve it so we can have it. It's annoying! I'm not trying to screw you out of $$ by having my insurance pay for a drug rather than paying a higher price for OTC than it would be for a drug co-pay, I just want a drug that works! It's about time to call the pharmacy to see if they got anything worked out. GRRRRRR!!

And to top that off I think my son has something wrong. His mood swings are out of control lately. Is he going through puberty already? He's only 8 1/2! I think he might be hypoglycemic or something. I don't know. He's also frustrated because he doesn't know his multiplication tables all the way. Honestly I can't see frustration escalating to the point it has lately. Well I'm going to drill him on multiplication all weekend until he knows them. After the frustration is removed I can do some more experiments with food, etc to see if that is the problem.

He's also been peeing his pants every day which makes me think something else is wrong with him. I don't know. I was a bedwetter as a kid and it was so hard. I'll feel really bad about getting onto him all the time about peeing his pants during the day if it's a medical thing he couldn't control.

Why can't kids come with instruction manuals - for each child. And they would tell you everything that is going on with them so that you just look it up in the book and solutions would be provided. It would be a hack of a lot easier than the guessing game parents play.

And in the meantime - give me some allergy medicine that works!

Solitude

So I went to the Solitude Conference at the beginning of the week. I have only one word - awesome!!

I definitely want to make it an annual tradition. I cannot believe how well I enjoyed being by myself and doing whatever I wanted for those 48 hours.

It's kind of funny because I went to it thinking that God would fix me while I was there. I was expecting Him to hit me over the head with something. Nothing like that happened but I can see a light at the end of the tunnel.

I did a lot of reading and praying and waiting and learned that I need to surrender - which is much more than a committment. A committment gets you through the motions. Surrender changes your life.

Surrender sure isn't easy though. Committment comes naturally - it's a way of life that I've lived for so long that I can't imagine doing anything different. Surrender is a choice that has to be made over and over and over again.

I'm glad I finally figured that out. I haven't really had any anxiety since coming back (knock on wood) so I'm hoping the inner peace I'm feeling from spending that time with the Lord stays with me. If it doesn't I'll have to find some short hours of solitude to get it back.

What is wrong with me!?!?

I have been so filled with anxiety lately. Every time I open my mouth I feel anxious when I'm done speaking. I'm sitting on my couch feeling anxious over a conversation I had with dd's preschool teacher. I don't recall saying anything wrong but my anxiety tells me I did. It didn't help that she was telling me my child shouldn't go to K in the fall. Maybe not, but for pete sake's it's January - we've got until Sept to be ready. Why does she have to know all of her numbers and letters and everything right now - she's FOUR for crying out loud! With ds I taught him all those things early, with dd I decided she was going to get to be a KID - seems everyone else thinks that was not a good decision. *sigh*

It seems every time I go someplace I come home and am just anxious and tense and jumpy in my skin. I don't like it. I feel "odd" a lot of the time. Something is "off" but I don't know what. I feel like my doc thinks I'm a hypo even though I rarely go, so I'm afraid to call and tell them something is wrong - that and I always fear they'll tell me NOTHING is wrong when I know it is and that means they have no solution and no way to fix it and I'm stuck feeling this way. *sigh*

I'm going to a women's solitude conference and I'm hoping the Lord will fix me while I'm there. If something doesn't change while I'm gone then I'm going to have to look into getting help eventually I guess. I don't want to live the next 50 years feeling disconnected from everything and everyone around me.

I suppose this is my payback for thinking those people who had anxiety were being ridiculous and just needed to suck it up and get over it. I see now that it's easier said than done - especially since mine seems mild right now and I can't imagine having this feeling worse than I already do.

*sigh*

The fun is done . . .

So we have a weekend left but for the most part our Christmas vacation is over. As of Monday morning we are back to our regularly scheduled programming.

The kids and I had fun this week. Rode the metrolink train to San Juan Capistrano and went to the mission. A trip the kids enjoyed immensely. I wasn't sure how they would take to the mission but they loved learning a little bit more of California and how the people here lived originally. I should have known they would like it. My kids love to learn. DD (4) has been talking about "what was that church called again" all week since we went.

We also went to the Land of the Famous Mouse. It was a bit more crowded than I like it but that's ok. After this week all of the tourists leave and it goes back to the non crowded fun to visit place it is in the off season. No offense to the tourists!! ;-)

Today was a picnic at the park and ice cream with some friends. A good way to end the week.

Now my kids are watching "The Phantom of the Opera" movie for the first time. We listen to the soundtrack in the car quite often and I needed something for them to do so they would just veg out for a little bit. I myself am going to join them in my recliner to watch the rest of it. I just love that movie. DD will probably be asking to watch it every day after she gets done seeing it today.

I hope your New Year was good. We had some friends and my sis and BIL over for cards and really enjoyed ourselves. We may have to make it a new tradition to have people over on New Years Eve rather than hiding here by ourselves.

I'm sure I'll check in again some time after life gets back into full swing. It's nice to have a break but it's also nice to get back to a routine. Too much of anything gets old you know!