Ho Hum

That's the kind of day we're having. It's been hotter than hot here the last couple of weeks. Today it's nice and plesant - and what are we doing? Sitting around doing nothing!! I had a book on hold at the library that came in so I went and picked that up.

Made the kids lunch.

MIL came over and gave ds his b-day present.

Kids are watching tv and I'm vegging. I've got a headache and am exhausted for some reason. Maybe I'll lay on the floor and try and catch a bit of a nap.

Taking the kids to Wild Rivers on Friday. We were going to go to the House of Mouse on Thursday but a friend of ds's asked to do something so we probably won't now. Maybe if I don't work too long tomorrow we'll go for the afternoon.

15 days until Vegas!! 25 days until New York!! 43 days until school starts!!

Thursday ramblings . . .

Only one more day of swimming for the session - then we're done for the summer. DD seems to be swimming - she's still not 100% sure how to come up for breath and keep going but she's getting there! We'll have to really try and stay in the pool the next few weeks so she keeps progressing. I'm happy with her progress and am really glad we went ahead and did that extra 2 weeks. DS seems to have stalled out on his progress but that's ok - it achieved what I wanted for him - enough comfort in the water for him to actually enjoy being in it. He takes after his mama though and will never be a true fish like his sister will be!!

I've been trying to eat less and healthier and exercise. I've lost 15 lbs in the last month and a half so I guess it's working. I've set a goal of 4 lbs a month. I've still got 35 lbs to lose but losing it 4 lbs at a time is much easier than saying I have 35 lbs to lose. A month and a half ago I had 50 lbs to lose so things are already looking up! :-)

what else - ds had his 9 year check up - 54 " and 52 lbs! Tall and skinny. Just like he's been since he was a year old. I talked with the ped about the suspected hypoglycemia and he seemed to agree it could be an issue and to just continue treating it at home as we have been. If it becomes worse then let him know.

Life is idling along. I'm looking forward to next week - we don't have any plans other than to hang out. We were going to go to Legoland but I don't have the $ for it right now so I'm probably not going to go. We'll see. We might visit the house of mouse but it's been so hot - maybe if we get up and go first thing in the morning. We've not been to the beach at all this summer so maybe we should do that too.

20 days until Vegas. 30 days until New York. 48 days until school starts.

9 years ago today . . .

I had accepted the fact that I was going to be pregnant forever! I was hot and tired and miserable and it was my due date. Little did I know it would be the last day of life as I knew it. The next morning I went into labor and ds was born! Man does time fly. I could never have imagined how that gorgeous little baby would grow up into such a person all his own. He's something else - smart, funny, witty, tall, skinny, enthusiastic - just to name a few. It's been so much fun watching him grow up. It's so bittersweet - all of you Mom's know that. As the poem or whatever it is goes, you give them "roots and wings." Balancing both is hard and it seems much easier to give them roots than wings. Somebody said to me the other day "you're half way there!" in regards to rearing him. That was some perspective! I hope I'm not failing him. I hope he knows he's loved - not just by me but by his dad and his sister and most importantly by God.

I was about to say "Happy Birthday Little Guy" but there's nothing little about him any more! Only about another foot of height and he'll be taller than me and his feet are almost as big as mine. The other day he crawled up into my lap and I couldn't help but think it might be the last time he ever does that. (It was also highly amusing considering how long and lanky he is! LOL!)

If you have little itty bitty ones at home - hug them extra tight today. It won't be long before they're pushing you away. When you're up in the middle of the night nursing an infant you don't realize that you're going to blink and then you're having to drag THEM out of bed in the morning! When you chase them around the store you don't dream that one day they'll walk beside you and actually be nice company for the day. Time flies, how I wish that somedays I would have remembered that instead of wishing for the day to be over!!

Did it really happen?

So I haven't heard anything else from the Pastor since my conversation with him on Tuesday. I was going to talk to him on Friday but he didn't come into the office at all. I thought we were going to sit down and work everything out before tomorrow's quarterly business meeting but we didn't. People are starting to ask questions so I hope he announces it tomorrow. I'm having a hard time not saying anything to people. And as bad as this sounds since I'm not doing this for the $, we haven't talked salary or anything like that either.

Did it really happen? Am I really taking the job? I hate being in limbo! I'm the kind of person who wants to get started and get things done right now. I know I can't technically make changes while the other person is still here in that position, but I could get started looking at the children's church curriculum and start getting that into place for the month of August.

I'm excited, nervous, and scared all in one. If I'm really going to do it I just want it out in the open and to get started. The administrator asked me to keep doing the financial secretary job. I told him yes, but now I'm questioning that decision. I would like to talk to the pastor some about that also. I'm not sure it's a good idea to have one person doing two major titled positions. I like the fin. sec. job and it doesn't take me very many hours a week, but still. We'll see.

Whew!

It's over. Another week of VBS in the books. It was a great week - everything went off pretty much witouth a glitch. A few minor things here and there but that is to be expected. A few complainers here and there - again, to be expected. (unfortunately!) DD had to miss the last day - she was sick - throwing up! Poor thing. She was so sad because she didn't get to bounce in the bounce houses. She's missing swimming this afternoon too which she's not happy about. Thankfully my sister was able to take ds to lessons for me.

I had a fun week. I've already got some ideas for decorating for next year. Should be fun! I've got a mental list of people to add to the staff for next year - sound man, power point person, photographer, preschool recreation - along with the regulars of course.

I'm so tired. I wish I had the weekend to just sit around but I've got a going away party to go to tomorrow, church on Sunday (we've got the 2's and 3's for probably the last time - I'll give up that position once my new one takes effect), all church bar b q right after church, handbell rehearsal, and the quarterly business meeting. *sigh* Then I work on Monday, Tuesday is ds's birthday and we don't have anything planned. I need to get on the ball! Wed. I work again. DS has a dr. appt. on Thursday so it's looking like Friday before I'll be able to sleep in again. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to go to bed early a few nights to make up for everything.

25 days until Vegas. 35 days until New York. 53 days until school starts.

Nothing like a little drama . . .

to make me blog more.

I had the conversation with Pastor today. Now we need the details ironed out. I guess we'll be working on that some this week so we can present it to the congregation on Sunday. I'm kind of excited and kind of scared. It's a big job - lots of responsibility. It's going to require lots of prayer!

Today was the second day of VBS. It was fun. I did some different stuff today so that was fun - a little bit of teaching too which I enjoy doing. I'll get to do some more of that after I take the new position.

I signed my kids up for two more weeks of swimming. DD had the same teacher for half the lesson yesterday and then he took her to the other class. She got ticked off at him and doesn't want anything to do with him any more. The new teacher is great - DD even jumped off the diving board all by herself today! I was soooooooooo proud of her!! She would never even jump off of the side for the other teacher and she jumped in twice off the side today! Hopefully she'll really be swimming after this session!

My sisters and Mom took me out for my birthday - I almost wish they wouln't have. The kids were wound up and it was hard to relax. Plus it felt like they felt obligated and not like they really wanted to do it so I wish they would have just not done anything. Oh well, it's over. I'm exhausted and will probably head to bed now. It's only 9:15 but the stress of the week and the shear work of it is wearing me out!

As my world turns . . .

Heehee. Well, I'm going to talk to the pastor in a few hours. DH must be reading my blog. ;-)

He called last night and told me everything I needed to hear to feel comfortable saying yes and to not feel like I'm fighting him over this. It's a much sweeter place to be in knowing that he's truly ok with it, than it was wondering if I should go over his head and do it any way.

Now it's 7am and time to get the hooligans up and dressed. 2nd day of VBS today. The kids had a BLAST yesterday! Even my dd who usually takes at least 3 days to warm up to a new situation can't wait to go back today!!

Happy Tuesday!

Well I'm leaning towards saying yes . . .

I had a conversation today with the person who's position I would be filling and some of my reservations were answered. I have a better handle on what I would do and I also know that there's more help there that hasn't been utilized yet. That makes me feel much better!

And then I ran across (well, I don't believe you just run across Scripture!) Isaiah 45 last night - it's about Cyrus being called to do God's work. Verse 4 says "I have also called you by your name; I have given you a title of honor" - well I don't believe I'm going to be given a title of honor since that sounds a little bit pompous. But when I originally read it I saw "I have given you a title" - which is what I would have in this position. I've got to have a final conversation with dh and another conversation with the pastor. DH said to me yesterday "I already know you're going to say yes." Well, why are you making it so hard for me to say yes than!

So I'll talk to dh tonight and probably the pastor in the morning. I know I won't feel settled until I give him an answer one way or the other. If God wants me to do this it will happen the way He wants. I'm going to tell Him I'm willing and able and let Him work out the rest. I did that last year with being the 3-6th grade girls leader for AWANA and I was incredibly blessed working with those girls. So I know that being willing to do what God calls you to do - even in your unease and your unsurety - brings blessing!

Decisions Decisions Decisions

The pastor took us out to lunch today and asked us (well me) to take over a position that needs to be filled at our church. I'm not sure what to think. I don't feel equipped to take the job in the slightest - but I also know that the Holy Spirit gives you the power to perform the jobs God wants you to perform. I've had a couple of people say something to me about this position which I find interesting - the pastor found this interesting too.

DH isn't thrilled about it. That makes me a little bit sad. I haven't made a decision about whether to do it or not, but I'm flattered that they think I can handle it. I'm not sure I understand completely dh's reservations. I understand some of them but not all of them. It seems to be more about him than me. He's also worried about the time it'll take away from the kids - he thinks I'll just be asked to do more and more and he doesn't like that. I've been working at the church for over a year in a more minor position and he says they're making me do more and more there already. Well, I haven't worked more hours than I was told - in fact am working less, and it hasn't cut in to the kids schedules at all. A little bit in the summer time but not much. I'm still the one picking them up from school during the year. His argument is that I'm doing different work than the position I was specifically hired to do. (This is in addition to my "titled" work.) But has anybody ever had a job where they only do the work specifically laid out for them and refuse to do something not related to their specific title or duties. Maybe people do do that, but I'm not that kind of employee. I know he's not either, I'm not sure why he can't see that it's the same thing.

I guess the hard part for me is that any time I've been asked to do something or to get involved in something dh gives resistance. He would never out and out tell me "no, don't do something," but just once I would like something to come along in my life that he gets behind 100% and says "yea, you'd be great for that job, I think God could really use you" or "I'm excited about that prospect for you" or "wow, what a great oppurtunity." And another part of me thinks "do I not take the job because he's not thrilled?" I've spent a lot of my life being told I wasn't good enough, you can't do that, it won't work, etc etc etc When will somebody be in my corner?

I was doing a study recently and one of the things asked was "what aren't you doing for God and what is your excuse for why you're not doing it?" The things that I'm not doing all had the same excuse "dh wouldn't like it." How do I balance submitting to my husband with doing what God wants. I guess the slight good news is that dh isn't out and out forbidding it. But how much more blessed would the work be if he would say "I'm going to be excited about this for you, and you're going to be great at it"?

I'm not even sure I'm going to do it yet. The pastor's wife said clear answers come in 3 ways people, scripture, and circumstances. Well with dd starting K in the fall the circumstances are falling into place for me to have time to do this position, some people have already confirmed it for me, I'm just waiting for Scripture. And I haven't gotten into the Word yet today and searched for an answer. I'll probably do that some once the kids are in bed and he's playing his games on-line.

It's a big decision that will change things to some degree but change isn't always bad.

Well it's almost here . . .

3 more days until VBS! The set is done as of yesterday - woohoo! That's the biggest project - it looks awesome. I'm getting excited and nervous all at the same time. I didn't realize that preschool crafts goes from 9-12 - I have other stuff I'll need to do and want to do. I don't want to be stuck in there for 3 hours every day. I'm going to see if I can get away with not going in there on Monday. I've got other work to do and nobody to watch my kids in the afternoon. I was going to ask my sister but I'm having some other rejection issues with my family regarding my birthday and I'm not sure I want to open myself up to more. Only one sister will almost always tell me yes and she works during the day, so she can't help me.

We'll see. If I can get out of craft time on Monday I can do my work while the kids are at VBS and not need anybody to watch them for the afternoon. My regular sitter has MS and by the afternoons is usually struggling so I don't want to ask her either.

It sucks to have so much family close by and nobody willing to help me. My other sister goes out and parties at the bar and gets drunk and my Mom will watch her kid any time. If I ask so that I can do something more noble than partying at the local bar -it's "oh, there's nothing for them to do here," or "I can't commit to anything" or "I'm doing x" or "I'm watching x (my niece.)" I'm tired of my kids getting the leftovers from their grandparents. It does make the thought of moving out of state much easier. I already don't have anybody to watch my kids - family was one of the only things making me stay here. Not that we have plans to move out of state but my relatives are making it easier.

On a happier note - I've been trying to lose weight - I've lost 8 lbs! 42 more to go! It's a start any way.

Oh and my t-shirts came in. They're very cute!! I'm wearing one right now - I wanted to wash and dry one so that I could wear it to the meeting tonight and say "this is the large that's been washed and dried" so people can decide what size they want.

I did sign the kids up for another 2 weeks of swimming. We'll see. I'm hoping dd will start swimming in the next two weeks. She might be better off with me just slowly letting air out of her floaties. She was swimming great with the floaties on - even jumping in from the side of the pool. And there was hardly any air in them. Just enough to keep her above water. DS is doing fine - he kind of stalled out after the first week so he'll take level II again.

33 days until Vegas. 43 days until New York. 61 days until the kids go back to school. ;-)