Why is it . . .

that I blog more often when I'm annoyed or frustrated? Who knows!

I thought I'd blog today since I'm not annoyed or frustrated. I'm just sitting in my recliner hanging out, thinking I should really get in the shower. It is after 9!

I'm boring when I don't need to vent. That must be why I don't blog more often in the calm times!

Nothing much going on here. Baseball has started and I am questioning my wisdom of signing up two kids to play baseball in the same season. It's going to consume a lot of our life until the season is over - which I think isn't until Memorial Day! YIKES!!! It'll be better after next week when basketball is over. Two sports overlapping is NOT fun - add to that ballet, church, school, homework and there's not a lot of time left over for doing nothing!

I'm sure will get into a groove with the new schedule soon.

Much better!

This template is much more me. Red is my favorite color!

This is much easier on the eyes.

Enjoy the changes!

Dr. Phil

Some friends and I went to Dr. Phil yesterday to watch a taping of his show. It was a lot of fun. My MIL had gone in the past and said it was no fun and he was rude, etc but I had the total opposite experience. I'd definitely go again.

We were going to go to the second taping but ended up getting there early enough to go into the first taping. That was fine with me. This friend of my friend pitched a royal fit when the first taping was over because there wasn't enough room to get into the second taping. She was downright rude and horrible to the poor audience coordinator. If my friend ever brings or invites that friend of hers again I will NOT be attending. She spent the entire day complaining and being rude about something. We were happy when we finally got to ditch her.

I have a really good friend who had never been in Hollywood so we showed her the sites a bit. We ran into Wolfgang Puck and said "hi" so my friends day was complete!

Beware of your friends friends when going somewhere in a group! ;-)

Surprise!

I was surprised today!! First my dh hid Valentine's with chocolate in them all over the house for me. I just thought that was sooooooooo sweet. He also left Valentine's for the kids on their beds without telling me. I thought that was really sweet too. My ds thought it was really cool that Dad had hid them for Mom all over. He was getting a big kick out of it.

Then dh and I went to lunch - it's been a long time since we had any sort of date. So while it was short it was definitely sweet and I was happy to spend the time with him.

The surprise - a ring that fits around my solitaire engagement ring that he gave me 15 years ago today. It's gorgeous and he picked perfectly! He said it had been 15 years since he bought me a ring so it was time to he bought me another one. Isn't that sweet? I'm still in shock that he surprised me. He use to not be very good at that. He said he's had it for a few weeks. I've been having so many issues that he probably dropped hints that in the right frame of mind I might have actually gotten.

I sure am lucky to have him. Not just because he bought me such a sweet gift but because he puts up with a lot of crap being married to me and I've never heard him complain.

(If you're reading this -Thanks babe - you make life worth living!)

53 Minutes and Counting . . .

That's how long ds (8) has been sitting at the table doing homework.

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

It was one page of 20 sentences - all you had to do was fill in the blank with a verb - like have, had, has, etc.

One page of Math - 9 thermometers, write the degrees.

One spelling activity - draw a picture of 8 of the words.

Tell me in what universe 53 minutes (with 5 spelling words still to go!) it would take that long to get those 3 simple pages done. Apparently this Universe!!!!!!! Am I being unreasonable to think that it could have been done in 15 minutes? I don't think I am! Even if it had taken 20 I might have understood but an hour - more than hour by the time he actually gets done.

I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I could change one thing in the world it would be that children NEVER do homework. 6 1/2 hours at school should be more than enough time to teach a child what they need to know without these stupid homework worksheets!!

Teachers of the world must you torture parents of children like mine with these stupid assinine idiotic assignments??

It was worth it!

So fighting to get the insurance to approve medicine that they didn't want to approve was totally worth it! I finally got the medicine I wanted last week but hadn't taken any of it yet.

My allergies were driving me crazy this morning and so I took one of those little pills. Ahhh the relief! No more ears itching, mouth itching, eyes itching - just relief!

Moral of the story - don't give up on what you know you need!

Torture

To me that is what homework is. I didn't like it as a child and I don't like it any better as an adult who has a child who has to do it. It is stupid and pointless. OK, I know the point is suppose to be to reinforce skills learned at school - but if you've learned the skills at school why do they need to be reinforced at home?

I have a child who takes FOREVER to do anything. It is sheer torture to me to have to make him get anything like homework done of an evening. I swear it was 2 1/2 hours a couple of days ago for him to get two simple pages done. I so wish I could go to the teacher and say that's it, we aren't doing it anymore. But I really don't think she'll be appreciative of that attitude.

I am so grumpy now from trying to get him to get done what needs to be done, that I literally can feel my blood boiling. It's that kind of nonsense that has me in the spot I'm in right now of not wanting to live this life. I don't see any end in sight until he graduates high school and no longer lives in my house. I don't know if I can endure another 9 1/2 years of this. I honestly don't. The last two since the homework got more intense have been absolute hell. I'm tired of experiencing hell in my own home.

I have no patience and I just want everybody to leave me alone. I want the kids to leave each other alone. I want to live my own life at my own pace without worrying about everybody else all the time. I've got to figure out a way to come to terms with where I'm stuck right now - it's only fair to the kids. They deserve better than my disinterest. Even though they drive me insane they are still just kids. I remember how much it sucked being a kid and I wanted so much better for my own kids. I wish I knew how to provide that something better without feeling like I'm selling out on myself!

What to say

I find myself wanting to blog all the time but I never know what to say. I've been having a rough time at home. I just don't know if I was cut out for this job of being a Mom. I'm not doing a very good job of it. I'm very frustrated with my life lately. I have been thinking a lot that this is not the life I had dreamed of for myself at certain times in my life. There were times I did dream of being a wife and Mom but there were other times I dreamed about all the places I would go and all the things I would do when I was an adult.

So far I've been nowhere and done nothing. At least that's what it feels like. If I express those feelings to the people living in this house with me they certainly won't understand and I'm sure they'll take it personally. So I keep this underlying unhappiness to myself. I don't know what else to do. The anxiety has been coming back too.

I know things in life never stay the same and I'm sure I'll quit feeling this restlessness (did I spell that right?) soon. It isn't the first time in life I've felt this way and I'm sure it won't be the last.