My how things change . . .

So I'm still not sure what we're doing for vacation. I was approached yesterday with an offer to do something that I would LOVE to do, but have no idea if it's feasible or even necessary at this time. It would directly impact our vacation plans however. So, for now I'm glad I haven't ordered tickets to anywhere. I just wish I knew whether this other offer was going to come to pass. I am a "don't get excited" about it type of person because of all the disappointments I seem to run across. What's funny is that this opportunity is in direct correlation to a prayer I uttered last week - a prayer kind of in haste and without much substance behind it.

I've been struggling with God for a while now - if you haven't noticed in my writings. (Whoever "you" is that might be reading this.) I slowly see myself coming out of my doubts and fears and back into a place of comfort and peace. So my prayers have been sporadic and hasty and stuttered. So it seems odd for God to answer that stuttering so quickly when I'm still in the middle of doubts.

I've decided to change my attitude about my job - I've been having a bad attitude and it has been coming across in everything I do. So I'm working on "changing my reactions" to things and having a good attitude and going at my job with my whole heart and trying to enjoy it. A big change from a few weeks ago when I was ready to go into the pastor's office and quit right then and there.

The women's retreat while not giving me a clear answer, has seemed to at least get rid of some of the muck and grime. I read a verse today- Isaiah 26:3 - He will keep in perfect peace those whose mind is steadfast, and trusts in Him- - - or something like that. That's my paraphrase. But the word "keep" was translated as "watch over" and the "steadfast mind" part could be translated as a purpose or goal. So I'm picturing Him peacefully watching over me as I carry out His purpose and goal. Because every time I decide to be unhappy with where he put me and start looking for things I want to do - I just get more unhappy. I'm going to allow Him to do what He wants - oh, whom I kidding, I'm going to TRY and allow that because I have been struggling for so long that I'm still not sure how to "let go and let God" as they say. I'm getting there.

How was that for a mindless ramblings post?

68 days until my birthday. 51 days until my kids are out of school for the summer. Who knows how many days until vacation - won't know that until this other oppurtunity is fleshed out.

Phantom, Retreat and Other Things

Phantom was incredible - the staging was absolutely AMAZING!! DH and I had a lovely night out. It's time to figure out another date night - it's so hard finding a babysitter though. We have managed two lunch dates since Phantom - that's nice, but an hour goes by fast.

This last weekend I went on the Women's Retreat with the church. The theme was "you matter more than you think." It was a lot of fun. I realized a few things about myself, and also didn't get a clear answer on something I wanted an answer on. I did meet a new friend though. It was video driven and the Saturday session was about having a "Friday Friends" group. Not a Bible study or an accountability group - just a group to be friends and to share struggles and to live authentically in a safe environment. I, however, do not trust women enough to take any 5 of the ones I currently know and try and start a group like that. I need 5 strangers. ;-) My new friend and I said we'd love to start a group - we just need 4 more women. Women of various ages, that go to various churches, that don't already know each other in some capacity. I'm going to start praying that God brings them into our lives. I share my innermost struggles with hardly anybody I know, I'd love to have a safe place to laugh and cry and not feel judged. We'll see.

I'm leaning towards us not going to Hawaii. It just keeps getting more expensive. Florida on the other hand keeps getting cheaper. DH wants to take a few smaller trips and not a big vacation. I don't mind a few smaller trips, but I have a hard time feeling like I'm rested and ready to go back home when we're only gone for a few days. I think because I manage to get away for the weekend here and there and he doesn't. So for him to get away for the weekend (or a weekend number of hours) is refreshing. We'll see. I'm not thrilled about Florida in August, but unfortunately I can't think of any other ideas. Anybody else have ideas for a family of 4 to go somewhere different and fun - airfare needs to be $300 or less from la - ?

It's Tuesday so I'm not in my office. I went to dd's class and did BFF and filed papers for the teacher. Then came home and worked on cleaning my house. It didn't seem to be too much of a disaster but there were so many piles everywhere that it took longer than I wanted. I sat down to have lunch and rest for a few minutes. I want to tackle my stairs - but for some reason I've been resisting that project for months and months and months. I'm hoping today is the day I can put it right.

Wish me luck.

74 days until my birthday. 85 days until vacation if I can figure out where we're going. 57 days until school is out for the summer.

Weird diseases

DS has a weird viral rash disease - pityriasis rosea is the official medical name. Ugly looking, scaly, rashy bumps would be more accurate. Poor kid - thankfully it's not contagious and he can go to school. And thankfully it's not itchy.

Not much else going on here. We're going to see Phantom tomorrow night - YEA!

DD has been a total butthead re: homework. UGH!

I didn't have to go to my office today. YEA!

The physical therapist was running 30 minutes behind. UGH!

We had art masters training. YEA!

It's a fun project. It's easy and let's the kids kind of do their own thing - my favorite type of project. The artist is Louise Nevelson - I don't know much about her. Time to hit google so I know what to tell the kids.

I'm still researching Hawaii. I'm pretty sure I know where we'll stay, etc. Now I've just got to pay the credit card down a little bit more and transfer some money around, etc to book everything. I'm glad I didn't buy airline tickets a couple of weeks ago when I was looking - ata went bankrupt and they had the best fair. Aloha also went under and I almost booked with them too. So as soon as I get everything all squared away I'll book everything. Expedia had a pretty good package deal or was it travelocity? One of those!

Fitness class started back up. I'll be going 3 days a week now. Plus basketball started up so I'll go do that tonight too. I'm hoping that those two extra hours a week will help kick start my weight loss. As of this morning I had 25.5 lbs to go to be at my goal weight.