Spent

That's how I feel tonight. Just spent. Sunday nights started back up at the church and of course they didn't get anybody else to do it before it started. So I had to do the first two weeks. Last week wasn't so bad. This week was horrendous. I had asked God for a sign that I was doing the right thing by quitting my job and after this evening, I'm mroe sure than ever. Next week the plan is to not go there at all - in fact, I think we'll go apple picking! Doesn't that sound like fun?!

Emotionally, quitting this job has been so hard. I really don't see how we'll be able to stay there with the way I'm feeling. Already someobdy asked me to work in the nursery since I'm not going to be doing the children's job. I said "no" immediately. I'm going to be saying "no" a lot until they get it or we leave. - whichever comes first.

I just didn't expect to feel so spent. A Mom called me when I got home tonight to tell me thank you for the job I've done with the kids the last two years. It was so sweet of her - she's the only person in a church of 230 regular attenders to say "thanks." I don't want them to do a big good bye, etc. But I didn't realize how much I needed somebody to say thanks. So I'll take that one thank you and move on.

I have to go in tomorrow to finish up some stuff. Tuesday I'll be at the middle school all day because it's picture day and then Wednesday I'll go and close out the month and take care of the finance stuff. After that I'll be done. I will no longer be on staff. It's very bittersweet.

I'm excited for Thursday to get here and to start my new life. I'm done being a working Mom. I've GOT to go through every nook and cranny in this house and clean it up - we can't keep living like this. *sigh*

Perspective

A friend posted on her blog about serving her children. Funny that she did so because I have been thinking about this a lot since I'm getting ready to go back to being a stay at home Mom for real - without extra paying jobs. I've always felt like I was a stay at home Mom since my kids didn't really go to daycare but working was getting in the way of the stay at home part.

Anyway, I am the QUEEN MOM of "if you can do it yourself, than you do it yourself." I want my children to be independent and able to do things for themselves - I don't want them going into the real world and expecting everybody to do everything for them.

BUT, I realize by doing this I've robbed them of knowing what it is to serve others. So I've been working on doing things they ask me that normally I'd say no to - pouring more apple juice, getting something for them from their room, etc.

My friend observed that it made her teen more likely to help her when she served him. Interesting. I've noticed that attitudes are a little better around here when I try to serve them - I don't do everything, I'm still the Queen Mom of Independence after all.

But I think it's worth it to serve them - I think Jesus would pour apple juice for me if I asked him nicely to do it.

Lazy Procrastinator

That's what I am. I've got to get this house whipped into shape before dd's birthday party tomorrow. Have I done anything?

No.

Because I'm lazy and a procrastinator - a huge problem when you've got them both together. Only a small probelm if you've only got one or the other. ;-)

I did manage to get some things done - I paid all the bills and rode my bike to the post office to drop them in the mail. On the way home I stopped by the bank and got cash to pay the bounce house guy and buy $5 little sneezer pizza. Then I went to the jeweler and got new backs for my tanzanite earrings I bought in east africa. I lost one of the backs before I came home and I wanted the nice kind that grip well back on there so I wouldn't lose it. Of course they only sell them in pairs - but now the backs match - not sure why that matters to me, but it did. ;-)

I really need to go back into the abyss of dd's room - it's almost done though and shouldn't take too much longer.

DS missed the first week of band - nothing came home about it so we didn't know they had started. Now he's saying he doesn't want to do it because it's to early - I don't blame him, I don't look forward to making sure he's at school at 7:30 every day - and it makes for a long day. But I don't want him to give it up, either. What to do, what to do?

I guess I'll start by going into dd's room. If I don't come back I got carried away by the stuff that's in there.

What a difference a month makes . . .

A month ago today I was preparing to leave for a foreign place - so much has happened since that day.

The trip was amazing. I have not been able to accurately sum it up into any words however. One big huge thing happened (well, more than one, but the most life changing thing) - I quit my job. I'm so excited and nervous at the same time. I'm having a hard time doing any work there right now because I just want to be home. I believe that's where God wants me too - so I'll be at home - taking care of my house and my husband and my kids. Everyone was a little bit shocked but they've been very understanding.

The kids started school. DS started middle school. (waaahhhh) He seems to be really enjoying it - but he seems so old now. :-( Time goes way too fast.

DD started second grade and had her birthday - so she's 7 now. Unbelievable! She's having a party this weekend with all of her friends.

Not too much else going on - cheerleading starts today, I've got a meeting tonight, and my house is a disaster!

Only 108 days until Christmas.